I went on a date with a gentleman the other day. Prior to meeting up, I had been thinking about how I would let him know I’m celibate before things went too far.
Well…the opportunity came faster than I thought it would. The conversation went something like this…
He asked a series of questions about how conservative I was and since I was unsure whether he meant politically or relationally, I probed deeper.
What I didn’t know is that he had intended for the conversation to get to this point. So seeing this as the opportunity I had been anticipating, I told him – “I’m celibate.”
He asked a series of questions about how I had gotten to that point. Then, he asked why I was celibate, and I said, “Because I’m worth the wait.”
“In an environment where everything is negotiable, taking something off of the table and making it nonnegotiable can be empowering.” – DeVon Franklin, Produced By Faith
I said it plainly yet pleasantly and confidently. And then, to my surprise he smiled and said, “you are with the wait.”
I left the date feeling good. I knew we still had a long way to go to really get to know each other but I was glad the conversation happened.
Then, over the next several hours, I was reminded of how this conversation shifted things with guys I had dated in the past.
Some guys were unphased by it while others disconnected. Some guys treated me differently because they didn’t understand it. Some guys stayed and some guys got ghost.
More than anything I’ve realized that waiting comes at a cost.
While waiting you could be pouring into someone, getting to know them, being vulnerable, taking a risk and they could just walk away. And the reason they walk away could be because they don’t want to – Or don’t think they can – wait.
They could literally say, “I don’t know if you’re worth the wait” which has been said to me before.
Knowing that in the long run it will all be worth it doesn’t completely stop the sting today. It’s the space in between that can be difficult.
But I’ve gotten this far. I know I’m near the finish line. It’s been years of waiting – I’m ready for my king!
So, if God provides space for the talk go into it confidently. If things don’t work out feel the sting and press on.
If you’re waiting there’s no way to get to the other side without having this conversation. You may need to practice having it with yourself. What are your whys? I said what I said to him above but I also said more. How can you tell someone without sounding arrogant or better-than but with genuine sincerity?
At the end of the day you have to know your whys! Regardless of how the conversation goes know this – you’re worth the wait. Be confident knowing that God will help you through. What He has for us is exceedingly, abundantly above ALL that we could ask or think! Activate your faith and watch God MOVE!