I’m the only one who sleeps in my bed.
While I’ve been in this house, (it’ll be 6 years in August) no one but me has slept in my bed.
Now, I’ve slept in a bed with a man at some point since I’ve lived here but I’ve made a conscious effort/decision not to allow any man to sleep in my bed.
Let me tell you why.
When I was in a relationship and we broke up, nothing said “we’re done” like sleeping alone.
My cherished, sacred place had become cold and empty. It felt so empty and not even my presence could fill the void. Knowing and learning this about myself, I decided not to sleep in my bed with a man.
Beds, when interested in someone, provide a lot of space and opportunity. While waiting I’ve learned that it’s more likely for me to get closer to breaking my commitment if I share a bed with a man.
I also wondered what if this bed, my bed, is the one I’ll share with my husband. Do I want to share a bed with my husband having shared the same bed with someone who was clearly not?
So that’s a boundary I put up. I love to cuddle, so we can cuddle and/or sleep on the couch – just not in my bed. The couch is community property. Everyone who comes over sits on the couch. It’s a meeting place.
My bed is different.
It’s where I talk to God, it’s how I start and end my day, it’s where I cry and pray and it’s mine! It’s just for me and I refuse to feel empty inside of it.
I know me and this is what I have to do to hold it together. There may be something else for you. Maybe you need to wait a little longer to introduce the person you’re dating to family because if it doesn’t work out you’ll hear about it forever.
Or you may wait a little longer to invite or be invited over for a night cap. Whatever it is decide in advance.
As for me, my bed will continue to be a sacred space. That way if things don’t go well, I can still crawl in my bed and have peace. Somebody’s sleeping in my bed, and that somebody is ME!