I Already Have A Crown

I was having a conversation with someone recently and they said I was a queen and needed a crown. In true Tiffani fashion I said (because I do), “I already have a crown.”

You have to know who you are.

I learned this more than anything last year when my identity was challenged in all areas of my life – my views, my ways, who I was and where I came from. I remember people saying “no you’re not” after I had explained who I was.

It’s easy to believe what people say about you if don’t know who you are.

It’s also easy to get trapped in a bad situation when you haven’t fleshed out your values and don’t know your worth.

Don’t let someone else determine your worth. Know it for yourself. So if someone comes along and doesn’t know your worth, they stand out like a puff coat on hot day.

Knowledge of self is so important when determining who could be a potential life partner. While no one is perfect, there are people out there with good qualities who still aren’t a good fit. Knowing you means knowing what works for you and what doesn’t.

Stay strong during this love season. Don’t feel pressured to move in the wrong direction just to have someone on the day.

Choose you. Decide what want, become that, and hopefully it’ll come your way soon.

Until then….dust off your crown! Put it back on and don’t let anyone define you. You define you. Be your best self and watch God’s blessings overflow in your life!

Happy Waiting!

The One

There was a point in time when my confidence was really low. I may have looked pulled together on the outside but I was constantly scoring myself against the other women in the room – how they looked, what they said, how they carried themselves…and I never measured up.

So, I prayed for confidence.

Initially, I didn’t know how else to get it – but over time I learned that accepting myself and loving myself the way God made me, helped my confidence to grow.

Now, I affirm myself everyday. I don’t wait for someone to tell me I’m beautiful, I tell myself.

I also take care of myself – I eat right, exercise and try (really hard) to lead a good life.

When people talk about The One, they’re usually talking about finding (or being found by) that special person they’ll spend their lives with. But in this case, I want you to shift your idea of who The One is from a significant other to You!

You’re The One! You are The One you’ve been waiting for! You’re The One who can change everything in your life! You can decide to be (and pray for) more confidence, you can choose to take risks – to learn, to grow – it’s all on you! And guess what? You don’t have to do it alone!

You have Someone who is ready, willing, and actively trying to lead and guide you.

So, before you look outside of yourself for love and validation, look inward and then, most importantly, look up! Not only are you The One, God is THE ONE!

Abide in Him and He’ll comfort you. He’ll make you brand new! He’ll bring you the desires of your heart.

God can (and will) change EVERYTHING if you let Him. He can make you a better YOU! Let God transform you. If He did it for me, He’ll do it for you too!

Happy Waiting!

Cherished

A couple of years ago around this time I met a guy – a really nice guy. He was kind and caring, considerate and attentive – just an all around good person.

One day in particular, after we got off the phone, I rested in my thoughts for a minute thinking, ‘what is this feeling?’. After mulling over it for a few moments I realized what it was.

Cherish(ed) – verb

To protect and care for (someone) lovingly.

Synonyms: adore, hold dear, love, care very much for, feel great affection for, dote on, be devoted to, revere, esteem, admire, appreciate. – Dictionary.com

I felt cherished.

It was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was through dating him that I learned what it meant to be treated really…..really well.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’d dated other guys in the past who had a host of good qualities but this was the first time I was cared for in this way. He didn’t objectify me which was important especially since I was waiting. He listened and was patient with me. He truly cared for me and showed it through his words and his actions.

That standard of care changed the game for me.

Years ago a friend of mine was talking about her now husband. After dating him for a while and then getting engaged she said something like, “I can’t believe I let myself be treated so badly for so long”.

Oftentimes people treat you the way you allow them to, or people treat you the way you treat you.

With that said, if you don’t step your you game up no one else will.

Some years back I had to have a very necessary talk with a family member about what I would and would not allow. How I would and would not be spoken to. And while it took a lot of courage to have this conversation, I haven’t been treated that way by that person, since.

While talking to a friend recently she said, “there’s the gold standard of care – treat people how you want to be treated. And there’s the platinum standard of care – treat people how they want to be treated.”

Love languages fit here – And treating people how they want to be treated fits here because everyone experiences love in different ways. Share how you want to be loved and as long as it’s not hurtful, love others the way they want to be loved.

Everyone deserves to be cherished. You deserve to be cherished but you have to start with cherishing yourself first.

So get real with yourself. Do you want to be doted on or discarded? Loved or loathed? Criticized or cherished?

You get to decide.

And once you decide, make sure you treat yourself that way. It all starts with you.

Happy Waiting.

Reveal

About a month ago while listening to Erica Campbell on her show, Get Up Erica, she encouraged listeners to pray this prayer – Reveal, Remove, Repair, Replace. She prayed this prayer everyday and asked God to help improve her team. She had launched a career as a solo artist and wanted God’s help.

You can find the Ericaism here.

Intrigued and moved by this, I prayed the same prayer except….I couldn’t remember all of the words! So, instead, I prayed – reveal, remove, replace, restore – and that’s exactly what God did!

Since then, God has revealed things and people in ways I would’ve never imagined. The revelations were both good and bad and some of the revelations were so real it made me anxious.

What’s interesting is that once certain things were revealed a pattern emerged and I could see more clearly.

Some relationships changed while others improved. Familial relationships became stronger and I realized more than ever where my help comes from.

I’m so glad I prayed that prayer. I suspect this isn’t the last time I’ll pray this prayer since this is one of those prayers you pray throughout your life.

Do you need to take inventory of who is around you? Are there relationships that need repair? Are you praying for restoration? If you answered yes to any (or all) of these questions, this prayer is for you!

Although some of the words were different in both prayers, God still answered our prayers and in my case, He continues to answer them. And surely, if He did it for me, He’ll do it for you!

So, ask Him!

Do you want Him to remove, reveal, replace, or restore? Give Him the authority and watch Him work!

Happy Waiting!

Lessons Learned in 2018

To close out 2018, I’m listing some of the things I learned this year. Here’s the short list!

1. Don’t Worry

The Word has a lot to say about this and for me, the last couple of months have involved a lot of uncertainty. From illness in my family, to house woes and such.. lots of time has been spent on worry and I’m done with that as of yesterday.

2. Guard Your Peace

The Word also says to guard your heart but I also learned to guard my peace this year. Phone calls, texts, emails, and conversations can turn a good day into a bad one. But whatever the case may be, we can’t hand over our power and faith so easily. Guard your peace and don’t give it up without a fight!

3. Trust Yourself

Many decisions were made this year and some of them were life-changing. Many of the decisions, when I trusted myself, got me past the finish line while others sent me on a detour. Weigh all of your options and trust yourself to make the very best decision. Listen to you first!

4. Ask Questions

The other day while making a tough decision and praying my way through I asked 100 questions. I even made the other person wait and while waiting may have caused her some discomfort, I couldn’t exchange her peace for my moms so, I asked ALL of my questions and in the end everyone was happy. Ask! What’s the worst that could happen?!

5. Live

I had the most fun this year! From meeting up with friends and traveling to being honest about how I feel and…all of this changed me! I also gave myself permission to cry – OMG I cried so much this year but giving myself permission to cry was one of the best things I did! I also left room for me to be me and stood firm in who I am. That was most powerful because no one could tell me who I was because….I already knew. This was a game changer! Get to know YOU! That way, no one can tell you who you are.

6. Be Vulnerable

This is a continuation of #5. I read a lot about vulnerability this year, practiced it and relationships have been made better for it. If you haven’t heard of Brené Brown get into her. She’ll help you see vulnerability in a brand new way.

7. Take A Risk

In July I bought a new journal. I’ve been writing in my journal almost everyday for the last 2 years. Starting last summer, I started every journal entry with what I was grateful for and still do. The words on the journal (in the picture) were a reminder to take a risk and that I did! I’ll write more about those risks here in 2019. In 2019, I’m encouraging you, with God’s guidance, to take a risk. You never know what’s on the other side.

All in all 2018 was a rollercoaster of a year. And I’d do it again if it meant I’d learn the lessons I learned this year.

Special thanks to everyone reading this post! It warms my heart that people are choosing to read my blog and are (hopefully) taking something away from what God has taught me. Let’s do more of this in 2019!

Happy Waiting! And Happy New Year!

Lord Knows

On one morning in particular, I was feeling defeated.

Then, I went to my car only to discover it was covered in ice. And my ice scraper….was nowhere to be found. I was already late for work and since it seemed nothing was going my way, I decided not to rush and instead, to let the car run while the ice melted.

I saw my elderly neighbor getting into the car behind me and knew he probably had a scraper but decided not to ask. After all, the week had defeated me and it was only Wednesday.

But, as I sat in my car accepting the day as it was going, I heard a scrape. Then another and another. My 70+ year old neighbor had begun scraping the ice off of my car.

There was something about that gesture at that particular time that gave me some emotional relief. And God knew I needed that.

In no time, I was free from the ice box and ready to drive to work. I thanked my neighbor, thanked God, and went on my way.

On Christmas Eve I ubered to a friend’s house and the plan was for her to drive me to the airport in the morning. We exchanged gifts and guess what she gave me…

If you can’t tell, it’s an ice scraper. I was SHOCKED! At first I thought, I must’ve told her the story and she was thoughtful enough to get me this gift.

Then, I realized I’d only told 1 person about my neighbor helping me Wednesday morning and it wasn’t her.

To be sure, I asked her a couple of times just to make sure and she confirmed she hadn’t heard the story at all.

Almost immediately I knew what God was trying to tell me.

He was saying…

I know what you need and I’ve positioned angels to help you when things don’t go as planned. You are MY child and I’m always looking out for you. On good days and bad. When you’re at your best and at your worst. I am always with you!

Which brings me to this scripture –

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

If you’ve felt like you have been on a rollercoaster this last quarter of 2018 this is for you! God is with YOU. He has dispatched angles to help you with your situation. There’s an end. You may not know the end but He does. God knows what you’re going through and He’s walking through the deep waters WITH YOU! You’re coming out on the other side. So praise Him in advance!

Happy Waiting!

This is Only a Test

Today, I cried. And not just a tear or two. I had a full on crying fest. A lot has been going on lately and honestly, at times, I’ve had a difficult time managing it all.

It seems as soon as I get clarity or peace about one thing, another thing threatens/steals my peace. This weekend it was my house.

I’ve been living in my house for 5 and a half years. The last year or two, I’ve had many things break and need repair. Last weekend though, it was water damage.

The entire process is overwhelming. I’m the kind of person who likes to know and understand as much as I can before I make a move but things were happening so fast I really felt like I had to make quick, on the spot decisions.

The post titled, Don’t Rush, was mostly about relationships and dating. But through this situation, maybe God is telling me not to rush any decisions.

A lot has happened in the last 30 days. I reconnected with some old friends which brought up a lot of old feelings, learned multiple family members are battling ailments or illnesses, and now the house, the house needs repair.

Many of these things require me to make some decisions. Some more life-changing than others and I’m getting overwhelmed.

The silver lining is that I have some God fearing people on my side. One of the contractors I’ve worked with over the years is a man of God. In moments when I feel like I’m crumbling (about house-related things) he always points me back to scripture. Yesterday, he said to read Psalms 50. Today he reassured me that this is only a test and that God is with me and there’s life at the end of this. And while what’s going on with me isn’t the worst thing, the combination sent me into a tailspin.

So if you too are going through, please know this is only a test. God knew it was coming and He already has an end.

And while you wait, don’t worry. I can be a worrier and the tears I cried tonight are confirmation of that. Don’t be like me.

Be grateful. Find the good in your situation. Last weekend, before anyone showed up to help me, I was calling out things I was grateful for and it really did help. I’m going to get back to that now. Will you join me? Think of at least 5 things about your situation to be grateful for.

I almost always end the night writing what I was grateful for that day. When I miss a couple of days, I feel it. So let’s not miss any more days! The stress is too much and God is too good. I know I need a Master reset. Maybe we can reset together.

So, don’t lose heart and I won’t either. The battle is not yours…I’m sure you’ve heard that before. Give it to God and be patient with yourself. And above all else, don’t worry because…THIS is only a test.

Happy Waiting.