Valentine’s Day Victory Part II

Valentine’s Day can be a dreaded day or a joyous day – you get to decide. I’ve written about Valentine’s Day twice in the last several years. You can find the posts here and here. There were Valentine’s Days when I had the best time and others when I had the worst time. Here are…

Accept The Blessing

I have a really hard time accepting help. For so long I’ve had to go at it alone and because of this, I’m used to doing things by myself. After years of operating this way and slowly transitioning into roles that require greater support, I found myself burnt out realizing I should have asked for…

Going Before You – Working In Your Favor

A couple of months ago my coworker and I were meeting at a school for a writer’s workshop training. I walked to the 3rd floor. My coworker was in a wheelchair so this required a different level of planning. The space was small. There were a bunch of tables, chairs, and even more people. It…

The Pretty Blues

I used to be so insecure. I literally wanted to look like someone else. I’d look at other women and think, wow she’s pretty. If I only had hair like hers or a body like hers, confidence like hers, clothes like hers… then, I would feel good about myself. It was a constant breaking down…

Dating While Celibate

Dating while celibate is hard. When you meet someone special, there’s a point in time where you may want to take things to the next level. You might feel like after doing so (by doing so I mean having sex) you’ll know if that is or could be your person. The problem with this scenario…

Run Your Race

I ran my first 5K one month ago. I finished the race and realized it was something I enjoyed and wanted to do again. I was surprised how well I ran. I hadn’t prepared at all. I literally woke up and ran the race. It made me proud but it also made me think, how…

Somebody’s Sleeping In My Bed

I’m the only one who sleeps in my bed. While I’ve been in this house, (it’ll be 6 years in August) no one but me has slept in my bed. Now, I’ve slept in a bed with a man at some point since I’ve lived here but I’ve made a conscious effort/decision not to allow…

God’s Trying To Tell You Something

I bought my car in 2006. In 2007, I got into an accident. It was totally my fault. I’ve never shared this but I was distraught over a messy brake-up (getting out of bed was an accomplishment back then) and I ended up misjudging the amount of room I had when tying to merge. Up…

Shifting My Focus

When thinking about different career opportunities I always go back to this – I want to get married. Now, you can have/do both but I know me. I’ll get so focused on a particular goal that I’ll spend all of my time doing that one thing, which leaves little to no time for dating. I…

For Men, Mostly

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of good feedback from men who read my blog. When I first started writing this blog my target audience was women but as it has evolved, I’ve included posts geared towards any and everyone interested in celibacy. If you are a man and you’re interested in being celibate or…

“They Decided They’d Wait For Me.”

Constance Wu said the statement above while being interviewed at the Academy Awards. Wu was already acting in a TV series when she was offered the lead role in Crazy Rich Asians. There were some scheduling conflicts and it seemed like she was going to have to pass on the opportunity but – they waited…

Thank God For The Rain

While talking to my aunt recently she said, “you won’t know until it rains.” We weren’t having a relationship-related conversation but that statement hit me in a supernatural way. Think about the last time you realized someone was a good friend. Now, think about other significant relationships. When did you know it was real? Whether…

The Talk

I went on a date with a gentleman the other day. Prior to meeting up, I had been thinking about how I would let him know I’m celibate before things went too far. Well…the opportunity came faster than I thought it would. The conversation went something like this… He asked a series of questions about…

A Fighting Stance

Last weekend I went to the movies. That same week I was meditating on whether or not I should open myself up in a way I hadn’t in the past. While watching the movie I heard this quote – “You can’t love with both of your hands up, covering your face.” When I wrote my…

Cherished

A couple of years ago around this time I met a guy – a really nice guy. He was kind and caring, considerate and attentive – just an all around good person. One day in particular, after we got off the phone, I rested in my thoughts for a minute thinking, ‘what is this feeling?’….

Lessons Learned in 2018

To close out 2018, I’m listing some of the things I learned this year. Here’s the short list! 1. Don’t Worry The Word has a lot to say about this and for me, the last couple of months have involved a lot of uncertainty. From illness in my family, to house woes and such.. lots…

Post Up

So….yesterday a 2nd grade student was in my office taking a break. She decided to stay in my office during recess so I wasn’t super concerned about what she was doing. At first, she was trying to make a paper airplane like the one in the book she was reading and then she was drawing…

Why I Took a 6 Month Break From Dating

While dating someone last year I fasted and prayed about the relationship that was developing. In many ways he seemed like the perfect guy but I didn’t feel peace in my spirit about it even though I really wanted to. So I fasted. One day while on my way into church, during the fast, I…

It’s Still a Blessing

After you’ve prayed and waited a long time, and God finally gives you what you’ve been praying for, although it may come with obstacles big and small, don’t forget that it’s still a blessing. I bought my house 4.5 years ago. For the first 2-3 years I would sit on the steps, in the dark,…

What Waiting Has Taught Me

Waiting has taught me to look deeper and be more critical about my choices while dating. In years past, my attraction to men was mostly physical. Now that I’ve spent more time thinking about what I want long term, I’m taking my time and really getting to know the person I’m dating.  Not long ago,…

A Time and a Season

Last week I bought 2 mangos. I LOVE mangos and I planned on eating them, at different times, for dessert. I guess fruit isn’t what most people would deem a dessert but it is for me. I felt the first mango and I thought it was ripe enough to eat. Well…after cutting it and attempting…

If I Knew Better

Fall 2016, I watched a few Andy Stanley sermons that were streaming on Netflix. In one of the sermons he said, although you may know better, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll do better. You have to make an effort to change your ways. When you’re waiting, you have to be intentional about setting boundaries. This can…

You Got This

Today I went indoor rock climbing. I felt good walking into the gym, had the opportunity to look at the walls and holds, and decided I was going to have the victory! The first time I went climbing I was with my mentee. She was around 15 or 16 years old and I thought this…

Pushing Through…

The other day I was sitting in traffic. I HATE traffic! All sorts of unladylike things come out of my mouth while I sit in or navigate through traffic.  On this particular day, I was on my way to eat dinner with a friend so I was in a bit of a rush. There was so…