Valentine’s Day Victory Part II

Valentine’s Day can be a dreaded day or a joyous day – you get to decide. I’ve written about Valentine’s Day twice in the last several years. You can find the posts here and here. There were Valentine’s Days when I had the best time and others when I had the worst time. Here are…

Holiday Single

Yesterday I had conversations with two different people about what it’s like to be single during the holidays. Both discussions were centered around companionship or a lack-thereof. After spending many holidays single and even alone, I’ve managed to come up with some ways that have helped me get through and even enjoy the holidays. Here’s…

Nothing Is Wasted

For a long time I was bothered when close friends got married. It was a reminder that they’d progressed from the dating to married phase in life and that I was still single. I didn’t want to feel envious or even jealous as friends celebrated the happiest moments of their lives but I did. I’d…

Dating While Celibate

Dating while celibate is hard. When you meet someone special, there’s a point in time where you may want to take things to the next level. You might feel like after doing so (by doing so I mean having sex) you’ll know if that is or could be your person. The problem with this scenario…

Somebody’s Sleeping In My Bed

I’m the only one who sleeps in my bed. While I’ve been in this house, (it’ll be 6 years in August) no one but me has slept in my bed. Now, I’ve slept in a bed with a man at some point since I’ve lived here but I’ve made a conscious effort/decision not to allow…

Hard Healing

There’s some healing that needs to take place and it’s going to be hard. I was reflecting on some personal work I’ve had to do and as I summed things up, I couldn’t talk about how hard it was without acknowledging the level of healing I’ve received. We all have some level of personal healing…

For Men, Mostly

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of good feedback from men who read my blog. When I first started writing this blog my target audience was women but as it has evolved, I’ve included posts geared towards any and everyone interested in celibacy. If you are a man and you’re interested in being celibate or…

“They Decided They’d Wait For Me.”

Constance Wu said the statement above while being interviewed at the Academy Awards. Wu was already acting in a TV series when she was offered the lead role in Crazy Rich Asians. There were some scheduling conflicts and it seemed like she was going to have to pass on the opportunity but – they waited…

The Talk

I went on a date with a gentleman the other day. Prior to meeting up, I had been thinking about how I would let him know I’m celibate before things went too far. Well…the opportunity came faster than I thought it would. The conversation went something like this… He asked a series of questions about…

I Already Have A Crown

I was having a conversation with someone recently and they said I was a queen and needed a crown. In true Tiffani fashion I said (because I do), “I already have a crown.” You have to know who you are. I learned this more than anything last year when my identity was challenged in all…

Check On Your Strong (Single) Friend

Not long ago there was a Huffington Post article with the title Don’t Forget To Check On Your Strong Friend. After a series of events, this blog post was inspired by that article. A few weeks ago I was having a really bad week. There were some things that were out of my control and…

A Double Portion

Not long ago, I went to a soup kitchen to volunteer. I volunteered with this organization a few times in the past and was eager to spend more time volunteering in 2018. The last few times I volunteered, we served food during three shifts and it was critically important to ensure each guest received the…

A Time and a Season

Last week I bought 2 mangos. I LOVE mangos and I planned on eating them, at different times, for dessert. I guess fruit isn’t what most people would deem a dessert but it is for me. I felt the first mango and I thought it was ripe enough to eat. Well…after cutting it and attempting…

Still

Life has been pretty hectic lately. I recently started a new job, grad classes began, and the adjustment…has been an adjustment. In an effort to maximize my time, I decided to begin working out again after work. I’m really good at piling it on. I could be extremely busy but because I’m passionate about something,…

If I Knew Better

Fall 2016, I watched a few Andy Stanley sermons that were streaming on Netflix. In one of the sermons he said, although you may know better, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll do better. You have to make an effort to change your ways. When you’re waiting, you have to be intentional about setting boundaries. This can…

It’s My Blogaversary!

One year ago today I published my first blog post on this site!  I can’t believe it’s been a year! Thanks so much to everyone who has read, liked, and shared my posts/site. Talking about this was really hard for me. I’m a pretty private person.  Prior to this blog, I could probably count on…

The List

For as long as I can remember people have been telling me to write a list of the characteristics I want in a mate. They say…write it down, pray over it, and while you may not get everything you want, God can do it! Well let me tell you….I have prayed over lists for YEARS. I…

Fall

Today while rollerblading I said to God, “I don’t want to fall.” I started to take it back but I meant it, so I didn’t. Five minutes later I fell. It wasn’t a cute fall either. There were people around…both my knees, and hands hit the ground and I rolled away with some scrapes and…

You Can’t Hurry Love

About 3 years ago I was at the doctor’s office and my doctor said, “do you want to talk about fertility?” and I said no. Here we are 3 years later and we still haven’t talked about it.  For some reason there is a foot on the gas approach to having children and getting married….

Fill Me Up Again

There are some times when navigating life as a single person can be tough. Comments from friends and loved ones can be discouraging. Somehow you’re made to feel like it’s all your fault. Some of the most attractive, successful, and all around good people are single. It is not a curse and you are not…

Clear Your Downloads

Over the last year or so, I have been getting this annoying alert when I turn my laptop on. It says something like “Your startup disk is full.” Last year, my laptop completely blanked out on me. I was about to start a new semester and I thought I was going to have to buy…

Broken People Make Broken People

Last week I was talking to a family member about my lineage. I discovered that both my mother and father had tough upbringings. While I can’t go into detail I will say, broken people make broken people. As I keep the faith and pray that God sends the one, I also have to reconcile the…

Who You Gonna Eat With?

Tonight while talking to my 3-year-old niece she asked, “who you gonna eat with?” I was a little taken aback so I asked her to repeat what she said. Just as lively as ever she again said “WHO YOU GONNA EAT WITH!?!?” You see, I was at home and attempting to get off of the phone…