A Full Upgrade

So tomorrow is my birthday and I have lots of emotions. It’s the first time in a long time that things are working well and not working very well at all.

On Saturday, someone hit my (parked) car. I didn’t realize the extent of the damage until I tried to open the passenger door. Thank God I didn’t have someone else in the car.

There are a few things that are broken or need to be replaced around the house. While I am blessed to have a house, it feels like everything is falling apart.

Now, I can totally admit I’ve been emotional lately and am in desperate need of some fun times – but I can’t help but to remember that time I was sitting in my room, in my apt,tears rolling down my face  and with anger I said to God, “FINE! If you’re going to change things, I’m going to need a FULL upgrade!”

Since then, things have been changing. My old job became a new job. My old boss became a new boss. I bought a house, started grad school, and was recently promoted. Things fell apart to fall together. 

So today, while I am a bit uncomfortable, I am also hopeful because I know God can do the possible. 

I’m trusting God or a FULL upgrade. I hope you’re trusting Him too. 

Happy Waiting! 

If I Knew Better

Fall 2016, I watched a few Andy Stanley sermons that were streaming on Netflix. In one of the sermons he said, although you may know better, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll do better. You have to make an effort to change your ways.

When you’re waiting, you have to be intentional about setting boundaries. This can be uncomfortable if you haven’t set these kinds of boundaries before. When you set boundaries while you wait, you choose you and If you haven’t been choosing you, it will be difficult to begin to. 

Choosing you means not letting things go too far or not having someone over too late. It means waiting awhile. It means delayed gratification.

It means changing your mindset.

What does intimacy look like while you’re waiting? Are you prepared to remind her/him of your boundaries?

In some cases, couples don’t share hotel rooms. They may not kiss or touch very much or they may do all of the above and be fine. It comes down to knowing yourself and your partner.

Maybe you have self-control and can manage intimate moments or maybe you need the other person to have more self-control.

Whatever the case may be, you have to know you and know when to say good night or good-day. Waiting isn’t easy but it creates more opportunities to get to know someone outside of the physical.

So now that you know better, do better. 

Don’t let lust get in the way of finding out if you have something that will be long-lasting. Doing better will help you make better decisions. It will also keep you from going to far too fast and getting hurt. Trust me – setting boundaries has kept me from a world of hurt. 

It also helped me figure out who was really for me. You never know, setting boundaries and putting you first might lead you to the partner your heart desires.

There’s someone out there who knows your worth. You just have to know it first. 

Happy Waiting!

Valentine’s Day Victory

It’s the end of Valentine’s Day and it was better than I imagined!

At church on Sunday, the Pastor said a sex therapist would be talking about singles and sex on Tuesday (today). I was a little skeptical and planned on eating ice cream and reading into Valentine’s night but I decided to go. I’m so glad I did.

Here are some of takeaways…

Assistant Lead Pastor Larry Paige gave us these little bits of wisdom –

First, you must know your purpose. You have to know you well. Know what you will and won’t do and exactly what you’re looking for. I spoke about this in an earlier blog post. You can find it here.

He also said to be patient. You should spend more time preparing than dating. This was in response to a question about how long is too long to wait for a proposal. This spoke volumes to me since I haven’t been in a serious/committed relationship in 4+ years. I feel like I’m overdue but hey, I want to be ready when the time comes.

He also spoke about permission. While I don’t remember everything he said regarding this, the message was to investigate. Don’t fall for potential. Oftentimes potential is just that, potential. Trust me when I say I’ve dated potential and he never changes!

If you want to learn more about Larry Paige you can find his bio and information about the here. If you’re not in the area, there’s a live stream! Watch it from your living room. It was a great way to end Valentine’s Day.

Have a good night!

Alone But Not Lonely (Most Of The Time)

Last week I had a range of emotions. I was starting to feel like I couldn’t catch a break.

Then, I learned that I did well on my yearly evaluation at work! I was so excited and thankful. That morning I knew something important was going to happen and that God was preparing me.  All of the songs I listened to that morning were about victory. The order of the songs was perfect. I left the house feeling strong!

After learning I did well, I decided I wanted to celebrate. This is always a tough one for me since more often than not, I celebrate in private. But this time, I wanted someone to be there to help me celebrate and there was no one.

Now  yeah, I could have called someone and tried to meet up to have a celebratory drink but sometimes you want to do those things with a significant other. I haven’t celebrated something with a boo since…….. I don’t even know.

While I know you have to play the cards you’re dealt,  and be thankful for what you have, it doesn’t take away the fact that celebrating with, spending time with, and being held by a significant other…… is nice.

One of my students asked me if it was ok to be and live alone and I told him it is possible to be alone but not lonely. But honestly, this single life can be quite lonely. What’s the solution? Fill it with friends and experiences. Usually when I feel this way, I haven’t properly planned outings with my friends. I’m setting up a few things now.

But most of the time I’m good. It is possible to be alone but not lonely.

Being lonely is not a death sentence, it won’t last always. It’s an opportunity to reflect and draw near to God because He’s always there. Maybe that’s the point. To direct your attention back to the One who will never leave you. While it’s difficult, there’s one thing I know for sure.  This feeling  shall pass.

Have a blessed week!

Intuition FTW!

Tonight I’m listening to a sermon about doing what God has led you to do.  I’m actually listening to it now.  I was led to write about my waiting-singleness (years ago actually) and I’ve been slacking royally.   Priscilla Shirer is preaching and she is amazing! Once again, she has inspired me. So here it goes…

I’m still single. I probably sound bitter saying that but I’m ok. One thing I learned in 2016 is to listen to the God in me. My intuition always kicks in and somehow I manage to explain it away, or give it more time, or wait for something to change. All the while realizing my intuition is ALWAYS right.

You could be dating the most wonderful guy/girl in the world. He/She’s everything on your list and even some things you didn’t ask for. He/She’s also willing to wait but something isn’t right. Your intuition is knocking and no matter how long you wait or how much you try… something. isn’t. right.

Walk away.

Trust me. It’s better to be hurt now than hurt later. Someone greater is coming. Let this one go.

Happy Waiting!

 

 

The Shunammite Woman

While at church on Sunday the guest pastor (Keith Battle) told us to turn to 2 Kings 4. In this chapter, there is a story about a Shunammite woman who prepared a room for Elisha in her home. He wanted to repay her, so he asked her what she wanted and she said she didn’t need anything and that she was fine.

Upon further investigation, he found out she didn’t have a son and her husband was old. He told her she would bear a son. Essentially she said, “don’t play with my feelings” but just as he said, a year later she bore a son.

Years (presumably) later , the boy became sick and then he died. Rather than telling or reasoning with her husband or telling those in the town, she set out on a journey to find the prophet Elisha and tell him what happened to her son.

Long story short, he brought him back to life.  You can read more about this story here. What’s interesting and what the pastor mentioned is that she didn’t tell anyone he died. She went to the one who prophesied the birth of her son so that he could bring him back to life.

This reminds me of our relationship with God. We may have waited long and prayed much and for whatever reason, God says it’s not our time. Eventually, we become content but lose faith. This woman had lost her faith and didn’t want to think about having a child but she did, just as Elisha said she would. I have to believe her faith was strengthened and restored because she learned that God hadn’t forgotten about her.

It’s the same for you and me. You’ve waited long and tried hard with no results. You had faith but it has been washed away with time and tears. God knows your heart, and He’s already preparing your breakthrough.

Although her faith had been tested, the woman in the story kept serving God’s people. Maybe that’s the message in all of this, to keep on serving until it’s your turn.

While you wait, keep on praying until your faith is restored and keep on believing until God brings you your miracle.