The List

For as long as I can remember people have been telling me to write a list of the characteristics I want in a mate.

They say…write it down, pray over it, and while you may not get everything you want, God can do it!

Well let me tell you….I have prayed over lists for YEARS. I have written and rewritten lists. I’ve made short lists and long lists. Superficial lists and super deep lists and I’m still super confused.

What if he has this and not that? What if he has that and not this? Which quality outranks another? Which one can I live without?

The truth is….I don’t know. I literally have no idea. So my new prayer is…Lord, I pray my desires line up with Your will.

This is the biggest decision you (and I) will ever have to make. This decision will affect your everyday life and generations to come. It’s so important that I know I can’t make it on my own. I need Jesus.

So Lord, if my desires are not in line with Your will, change them. If what I want is not what You have for me, then I don’t want it.

I know that releasing all of the control is difficult. I’m not telling you to throw your list away. I’m telling to to be flexible enough to recognize when God taps you on your shoulder and says, “hey, I have something better in mind.”

The entire point of this journey is be in the center of God’s will. And to get there, you (and I) are going to need Jesus to take the wheel.

Happy Waiting!

Fall

Today while rollerblading I said to God, “I don’t want to fall.” I started to take it back but I meant it, so I didn’t. 

Five minutes later I fell. 

It wasn’t a cute fall either. There were people around, both my knees, and hands hot the ground and I came away with some scrapes and bruises.

As soon as I fell I remembered what I tell my students everytime they fall during recess. I say, “you’re ok, get up.”

I tell them quickly so their minds don’t have enough time to process the fall. If they process it, and associate it with pain, they may never try again. I don’t want that for them and I certainly don’t want it for myself.

So I’m giving myself, and you, permission to fall. Falling requires courage, it requires faith. You have to be willing to take a risk. 

Is there someone who is interested in you and you’re not giving them the time of day? To be clear, I’m talking about a man or woman of good character who could be a potential life partner, not someone you know isn’t a good match. 

Go ‘head, give it a chance. You’ll never know unless you try. You could be missing out on the love of a lifetime….or not. But you’ll never know unless you give yourself permission to fall.

And if for some reason you fall, it doesn’t work out, and you get your heart broken, you’ll be ok. 

Remember the last breakup…not even the last, but the worst break up? Remember how you had no idea how you’d move on? You didn’t even know if you’d be able to get out of bed in the morning and make it through the workday without crumbling into a million pieces…..but you did! 

Falling isn’t the worst thing in the world. It means you’re trying and trying is everything! So try! And after you try, fall. And after you fall, if necessary, get back up again. 

Happy Waiting! 

You Got This

Today I went indoor rock climbing. I felt good walking into the gym, had the opportunity to look at the walls and holds, and decided I was going to have the victory!

The first time I went climbing I was with my mentee. She was around 15 or 16 years old and I thought this would be a great way for us to bond. Less than 30 seconds into my climb, I slid down the wall. I hadn’t even taken 3 steps and already felt defeated. What weighed me down most of all were my thoughts. How could I climb well if I didn’t believe I could?

The next couple of times I had more confidence. Sometimes I climbed to the middle or close to the top and sometimes I didn’t. But every time I climbed my confidence grew.

Today, when I climbed at a new gym, I felt victorious from the start. I looked at the wall and said to myself “you got this.”

With each step, as I rose higher and higher and wanted to quit, I said, “you got this.”

Then I took a deep breath, and said it again.

During the 2016 Olympics Laurie Hernandez became a star. At the time she was 16 or 17 competing on the world’s stage. She stepped onto the mat to start her routine and as I and the rest of the gymnastics-loving world watched, we saw her say to herself, “I got this.” Click here if you haven’t seen it.

I replayed it over and over again wondering how someone so young had so much confidence, and how she knew what she needed at the time when it mattered the most.

Life presents us with seemingly impossible situations. Sometimes you face the fear and conquer it and other times you give it your best effort and it doesn’t go your way. Through it all, it’s important to encourage yourself.

When I was a teenager I was a on a basketball team. I never made a shot during the game (or at practice smh) until I could envision myself doing so. Your thoughts and what you say to yourself are so important! Hold every thought captive!

Whatever the situation may be, as you wait to learn the outcome know that you got this! 

Maybe there’s something else you say to yourself. Maybe you say, “I am more than a conqueror” or maybe you say, “no weapon formed against me shall prosper.” Whatever it is, keep saying it.

If for some reason you’re not ready to say it to yourself, add me to the voices in your head. Go ahead, turn my volume up. Up some more. Up a little bit more.

Do you hear me? I’m right there with you cheering you on. And when you can’t say it for yourself, I’m whispering, ‘you got this.’

Happy Waiting!

Don’t Block Your Blessing

Not long ago I was torn between a few opportunities. One was more familiar than the rest but they all had their pros and cons.

I worried myself to death about them. Ok, not to death but you get the point. 

Several months later, I realized the original opportunity was the best one by far.

We do the same with relationships. Worry, worry, worry…..instead of just living and enjoying the moment.

While driving home today I decided to reflect a bit more on all that had happened. One opportunity was clear cut and pretty straight forward while the others were a windy road of uncertainty. 

Most of all, I realized God already knew the outcome and was waiting on me to come around. 

How many times has God presented you with an opportunity and you scrutinized it to death? You put so much worry and fear into it that you could no longer rejoice about it. 

Since God already knows the end, we don’t have to worry about the outcome. Waiting comes to an end, but the lesson won’t…. if you don’t learn it.

Do yourself a favor – don’t worry. Trust me when I say I’ve worried enough for the both of us and it literally got me nowhere. 

Happy Waiting! 

You Can’t Hurry Love

About 3 years ago I was at the doctor’s office and my doctor said, “do you want to talk about fertility?” and I said no. Here we are 3 years later and we still haven’t talked about it. 

For some reason there is a foot on the gas approach to having children and getting married. Even our providers are having these conversations earlier. I don’t suspect any ill will but I do see how these conversations can make someone feel pressured to hurry up, get married, and/or have kids before it’s time.

I don’t want to be someone who hurries love just to beat some invisible clock. 

That clock is the world’s clock not God’s clock.  He is the author and initiator of All things. 

So hurrying love is not the answer. It’s not worth it to jump ahead of schedule or to do things in your own time.

God’s timing is best. I want what He has for me, at the time He has chosen.

You can’t hurry love. It is better to wait.

Happy Waiting! 

Fill Me Up Again

There are some times when navigating life as a single person can be tough.

Comments from friends and loved ones can be discouraging. Somehow you’re made to feel like it’s all your fault.

Some of the most attractive, successful, and all around good people are single. It is not a curse and you are not alone.

During those moments when things don’t seem to be changing and you look back and feel as though you’re in the same place you were in last year I want to offer you some encouragement – you are not the same.

If you’ve made an effort to be and do better, you are most certainly different than you were before. And if you’re feeling down, please know that it won’t last always. It is a season. It may last a day, two days, two weeks, months, or years but there is an end.

So instead of feeling blue, decide to live everyday like it’s the best day ever and like it’s your last. Many people didn’t get this day and for many of us our loved ones, because of an illness, aren’t able to enjoy the day you have in front of you.

It is a decision. You have to decide to change your thoughts. You have to decide what stays and what goes. You have to decide to let the weight fall of your shoulders and into your hands so you can put it on the altar.

Learn what you need so you can fill yourself up again. These don’t have to be dark days. One day you may regard these as some of the best days of your life. Try to remember this if you’re not feeling hopeful. There is so much out there for you, all you have to do is receive it.

Start today. Decide to look at the glass as being half full and if it’s not, fill it up again.

Happy Waiting!

Going The Extra Mile

I’m a little reluctant to share this so you’re probably reading this post weeks or months after it first came to mind.

Sometimes while dating there is a tendency to cut corners. Maybe you don’t wear your best dress or you show up late. Maybe you decide when the date will end before it even begins.

But then, someone comes along that shows you what going the extra mile feels like on the other side.

I went out with someone recently (or not so recently) who without knowing or having met me, drove an hour to see me. I was waiting for the text that said “let’s meet halfway” or “let’s not meet at all.”

That text never came.

He seemingly, and without hesitation got off work late and drove an hour to see me. Me? Me!

And then we had a good time. And I realized that sometimes (read oftentimes) I don’t go the extra mile. Sometimes I’m trying to save something for later, other times I’m trying not to get hurt. But I could literally be doing more and not be so reluctant to wear the d*** dress.

What am I saving it for? Nevuary?

I was reminded of what going the extra mile feels like when someone does it for me.

The last time I went the extra mile I ended up with a broken heart, so going the extra mile is a bit of a challenge for me.

But I have to do it. I can’t expect it if I’m not ¬†going to put in the same effort.

Maybe going the extra mile isn’t wearing the dress or arriving on time. Maybe it’s being attentive, texting back, or showing up.

Maybe it’s letting your guard down for a good one. Maybe it’s you. And you need to get out of your own way.

Happy Waiting!