Valentine’s Day Victory Part II

Valentine’s Day can be a dreaded day or a joyous day – you get to decide. I’ve written about Valentine’s Day twice in the last several years. You can find the posts here and here. There were Valentine’s Days when I had the best time and others when I had the worst time. Here are…

Get Over It Gracefully

Are you going through a breakup? Do you feel like the end of the hurt and pain is nowhere in sight? In this blog I’ll give you some tips on how I got over one of the toughest breakups and came out better, stronger, and more confident than I’ve ever been. Over the years I’d…

The Difference Between Sex and True Intimacy

I used to think sex was the only way to intimacy. When I was having sex, the most enjoyable part was the physical contact I had with the other person. My skin on his, our bodies pressed together, and the vulnerability of it all. Now that I’ve been celibate for some time and have learned…

The Pretty Blues

I used to be so insecure. I literally wanted to look like someone else. I’d look at other women and think, wow she’s pretty. If I only had hair like hers or a body like hers, confidence like hers, clothes like hers… then, I would feel good about myself. It was a constant breaking down…

Nothing Is Wasted

For a long time I was bothered when close friends got married. It was a reminder that they’d progressed from the dating to married phase in life and that I was still single. I didn’t want to feel envious or even jealous as friends celebrated the happiest moments of their lives but I did. I’d…

Dating While Celibate

Dating while celibate is hard. When you meet someone special, there’s a point in time where you may want to take things to the next level. You might feel like after doing so (by doing so I mean having sex) you’ll know if that is or could be your person. The problem with this scenario…

Purpose + Partner

In books I’ve read in the past and especially in the one I’m reading now, I’ve realized your mate is your purpose partner. Whenever I meet someone I think about how the joining of our lives could impact the world. What could our joint purpose be? What can we do together? What world issues could…

Run Your Race

I ran my first 5K one month ago. I finished the race and realized it was something I enjoyed and wanted to do again. I was surprised how well I ran. I hadn’t prepared at all. I literally woke up and ran the race. It made me proud but it also made me think, how…

For Men, Mostly

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of good feedback from men who read my blog. When I first started writing this blog my target audience was women but as it has evolved, I’ve included posts geared towards any and everyone interested in celibacy. If you are a man and you’re interested in being celibate or…

Thank God For The Rain

While talking to my aunt recently she said, “you won’t know until it rains.” We weren’t having a relationship-related conversation but that statement hit me in a supernatural way. Think about the last time you realized someone was a good friend. Now, think about other significant relationships. When did you know it was real? Whether…

The Talk

I went on a date with a gentleman the other day. Prior to meeting up, I had been thinking about how I would let him know I’m celibate before things went too far. Well…the opportunity came faster than I thought it would. The conversation went something like this… He asked a series of questions about…

A Fighting Stance

Last weekend I went to the movies. That same week I was meditating on whether or not I should open myself up in a way I hadn’t in the past. While watching the movie I heard this quote – “You can’t love with both of your hands up, covering your face.” When I wrote my…

I Already Have A Crown

I was having a conversation with someone recently and they said I was a queen and needed a crown. In true Tiffani fashion I said (because I do), “I already have a crown.” You have to know who you are. I learned this more than anything last year when my identity was challenged in all…

Don’t Rush

While taking an Uber home from the airport over the summer, I was getting a little impatient. I had just gotten off of a 10 hour flight and was ready to eat and get in bed. While riding in my Uber, I noticed the driver stayed in a lane where traffic wasn’t moving. I asked…

Where There’s Smoke…

Thank God for the smoke. When I look back on my dating life there was a lot of smoke I ignored. I might as well have been fanning the flames. Even when things caught on fire, I still looked the other way. Oftentimes red flags come early. Flags don’t have to be serious things. Red…

Check On Your Strong (Single) Friend

Not long ago there was a Huffington Post article with the title Don’t Forget To Check On Your Strong Friend. After a series of events, this blog post was inspired by that article. A few weeks ago I was having a really bad week. There were some things that were out of my control and…

A Time and a Season

Last week I bought 2 mangos. I LOVE mangos and I planned on eating them, at different times, for dessert. I guess fruit isn’t what most people would deem a dessert but it is for me. I felt the first mango and I thought it was ripe enough to eat. Well…after cutting it and attempting…

Do it Alone

If you’ve been dating any length of time it can be difficult to transition from being in a relationship to being single again. I remember knowing a relationship was coming to an end, and dreading the “get over it” process because for me, it lasted a long time. After being with someone for a time,…

Who You Gonna Eat With?

Tonight while talking to my 3-year-old niece she asked, “who you gonna eat with?” I was a little taken aback so I asked her to repeat what she said. Just as lively as ever she again said “WHO YOU GONNA EAT WITH!?!?” You see, I was at home and attempting to get off of the phone…