Valentine’s Day Victory Part II

Valentine’s Day can be a dreaded day or a joyous day – you get to decide. I’ve written about Valentine’s Day twice in the last several years. You can find the posts here and here. There were Valentine’s Days when I had the best time and others when I had the worst time. Here are…

Let There Be Light

I used to live in the dark. I bought dark furniture, I felt safest in dark rooms….and I lived in a room without a window that let the outside world in. I felt safer that way, protected even, and as long as I was in there, there was no way anyone could get me. Once…

The Difference Between Sex and True Intimacy

I used to think sex was the only way to intimacy. When I was having sex, the most enjoyable part was the physical contact I had with the other person. My skin on his, our bodies pressed together, and the vulnerability of it all. Now that I’ve been celibate for some time and have learned…

Accept The Blessing

I have a really hard time accepting help. For so long I’ve had to go at it alone and because of this, I’m used to doing things by myself. After years of operating this way and slowly transitioning into roles that require greater support, I found myself burnt out realizing I should have asked for…

Deliverance

What if deliverance was calling your name? On Saturday I was at a restaurant waiting for a yummy pizza. About 20 minutes earlier I was told the pizza wasn’t ready so to kill time I walked around a bit, returned to the restaurant and found a seat near the window. While sitting there I saw…

Ring

Years ago after I’d gotten out of a relationship I decided to give my ex a different ring tone. It was different than all of the other calls coming though because I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss the call. I subconsciously waited for the phone to ring. It never did and I never…

Going Before You – Working In Your Favor

A couple of months ago my coworker and I were meeting at a school for a writer’s workshop training. I walked to the 3rd floor. My coworker was in a wheelchair so this required a different level of planning. The space was small. There were a bunch of tables, chairs, and even more people. It…

Holiday Single

Yesterday I had conversations with two different people about what it’s like to be single during the holidays. Both discussions were centered around companionship or a lack-thereof. After spending many holidays single and even alone, I’ve managed to come up with some ways that have helped me get through and even enjoy the holidays. Here’s…

The Butterfly Effect

For the last several months I’ve felt like butterflies have been following me. Especially over the summer. I’d walk outside and a butterfly would cross in front of me. Sometimes little white butterflies and sometimes big butterflies – they were so big I thought I was seeing things! Then, there were several times when I’d…

Nothing Is Wasted

For a long time I was bothered when close friends got married. It was a reminder that they’d progressed from the dating to married phase in life and that I was still single. I didn’t want to feel envious or even jealous as friends celebrated the happiest moments of their lives but I did. I’d…

Dating While Celibate

Dating while celibate is hard. When you meet someone special, there’s a point in time where you may want to take things to the next level. You might feel like after doing so (by doing so I mean having sex) you’ll know if that is or could be your person. The problem with this scenario…

Somebody’s Sleeping In My Bed

I’m the only one who sleeps in my bed. While I’ve been in this house, (it’ll be 6 years in August) no one but me has slept in my bed. Now, I’ve slept in a bed with a man at some point since I’ve lived here but I’ve made a conscious effort/decision not to allow…

He Turned It – Father’s Day

I don’t call my father “dad.”  When talking to other people I refer to him as my dad but as far as saying “hi dad” that wasn’t something I was used to saying. While growing up, he was around but not around. There was a period of time when I didn’t see him. Then, all…

My Vision

Last year I went to the optometrist. Whenever I go for my annual appointment they always ask if I want the glaucoma test and I always say yes. Years ago while talking to my Aunt Barbara she said to always get the test because she has glaucoma and her doctor told her to tell her…

Specific Specifications

Buying a car is a lot like dating. You might have to look at/search lots of cars to figure out what you want. There are so many things to consider. The exterior and interior – do you like it? How does the car drive? Is the drive smooth or bumpy? Do you want a new…

Hard Healing

There’s some healing that needs to take place and it’s going to be hard. I was reflecting on some personal work I’ve had to do and as I summed things up, I couldn’t talk about how hard it was without acknowledging the level of healing I’ve received. We all have some level of personal healing…

God’s Trying To Tell You Something

I bought my car in 2006. In 2007, I got into an accident. It was totally my fault. I’ve never shared this but I was distraught over a messy brake-up (getting out of bed was an accomplishment back then) and I ended up misjudging the amount of room I had when tying to merge. Up…

Shifting My Focus

When thinking about different career opportunities I always go back to this – I want to get married. Now, you can have/do both but I know me. I’ll get so focused on a particular goal that I’ll spend all of my time doing that one thing, which leaves little to no time for dating. I…

A Fighting Stance

Last weekend I went to the movies. That same week I was meditating on whether or not I should open myself up in a way I hadn’t in the past. While watching the movie I heard this quote – “You can’t love with both of your hands up, covering your face.” When I wrote my…

You’re Not As Strong As You Look

While debriefing with my personal trainer he said, “you’re not as strong as you look.” His voice trembled a little when he said it. It seemed, he was trying not to hurt my feelings. He didn’t. Although I knew he was talking about my physical strength, deep down inside I knew I needed to work…

Check On Your Strong (Single) Friend

Not long ago there was a Huffington Post article with the title Don’t Forget To Check On Your Strong Friend. After a series of events, this blog post was inspired by that article. A few weeks ago I was having a really bad week. There were some things that were out of my control and…

Prepare

I want to be mentally, physically, and spiritually prepared for what God has for me. I can’t do that in a week or two weeks, a few months or even a year. It takes years and years of preparation. Yesterday while at church my pastor told us the sermon was going to be about parenting….

It’s Still a Blessing

After you’ve prayed and waited a long time, and God finally gives you what you’ve been praying for, although it may come with obstacles big and small, don’t forget that it’s still a blessing. I bought my house 4.5 years ago. For the first 2-3 years I would sit on the steps, in the dark,…

Who You Gonna Eat With?

Tonight while talking to my 3-year-old niece she asked, “who you gonna eat with?” I was a little taken aback so I asked her to repeat what she said. Just as lively as ever she again said “WHO YOU GONNA EAT WITH!?!?” You see, I was at home and attempting to get off of the phone…

Alone But Not Lonely (Most Of The Time)

Last week I had a range of emotions. I was starting to feel like I couldn’t catch a break. Then, I learned that I did well on my yearly evaluation at work! I was so excited and thankful. That morning I knew something important was going to happen and that God was preparing me.  All…

The Road Less Traveled

Tonight I was reminded of part of the reason I decided to wait. While watching Love by the 10th Date, Kelly Rowland’s character said something I could relate to. Whenever  I’m in a relationship that ends, it’s difficult for me to get back into the dating scene. I’ve never been the type of person to…

The Shunammite Woman

While at church on Sunday the guest pastor (Keith Battle) told us to turn to 2 Kings 4. In this chapter, there is a story about a Shunammite woman who prepared a room for Elisha in her home. He wanted to repay her, so he asked her what she wanted and she said she didn’t…