The One

There was a point in time when my confidence was really low. I may have looked pulled together on the outside but I was constantly scoring myself against the other women in the room – how they looked, what they said, how they carried themselves…and I never measured up.

So, I prayed for confidence.

Initially, I didn’t know how else to get it – but over time I learned that accepting myself and loving myself the way God made me, helped my confidence to grow.

Now, I affirm myself everyday. I don’t wait for someone to tell me I’m beautiful, I tell myself.

I also take care of myself – I eat right, exercise and try (really hard) to lead a good life.

When people talk about The One, they’re usually talking about finding (or being found by) that special person they’ll spend their lives with. But in this case, I want you to shift your idea of who The One is from a significant other to You!

You’re The One! You are The One you’ve been waiting for! You’re The One who can change everything in your life! You can decide to be (and pray for) more confidence, you can choose to take risks – to learn, to grow – it’s all on you! And guess what? You don’t have to do it alone!

You have Someone who is ready, willing, and actively trying to lead and guide you.

So, before you look outside of yourself for love and validation, look inward and then, most importantly, look up! Not only are you The One, God is THE ONE!

Abide in Him and He’ll comfort you. He’ll make you brand new! He’ll bring you the desires of your heart.

God can (and will) change EVERYTHING if you let Him. He can make you a better YOU! Let God transform you. If He did it for me, He’ll do it for you too!

Happy Waiting!

Reveal

About a month ago while listening to Erica Campbell on her show, Get Up Erica, she encouraged listeners to pray this prayer – Reveal, Remove, Repair, Replace. She prayed this prayer everyday and asked God to help improve her team. She had launched a career as a solo artist and wanted God’s help.

You can find the Ericaism here.

Intrigued and moved by this, I prayed the same prayer except….I couldn’t remember all of the words! So, instead, I prayed – reveal, remove, replace, restore – and that’s exactly what God did!

Since then, God has revealed things and people in ways I would’ve never imagined. The revelations were both good and bad and some of the revelations were so real it made me anxious.

What’s interesting is that once certain things were revealed a pattern emerged and I could see more clearly.

Some relationships changed while others improved. Familial relationships became stronger and I realized more than ever where my help comes from.

I’m so glad I prayed that prayer. I suspect this isn’t the last time I’ll pray this prayer since this is one of those prayers you pray throughout your life.

Do you need to take inventory of who is around you? Are there relationships that need repair? Are you praying for restoration? If you answered yes to any (or all) of these questions, this prayer is for you!

Although some of the words were different in both prayers, God still answered our prayers and in my case, He continues to answer them. And surely, if He did it for me, He’ll do it for you!

So, ask Him!

Do you want Him to remove, reveal, replace, or restore? Give Him the authority and watch Him work!

Happy Waiting!

Lessons Learned in 2018

To close out 2018, I’m listing some of the things I learned this year. Here’s the short list!

1. Don’t Worry

The Word has a lot to say about this and for me, the last couple of months have involved a lot of uncertainty. From illness in my family, to house woes and such.. lots of time has been spent on worry and I’m done with that as of yesterday.

2. Guard Your Peace

The Word also says to guard your heart but I also learned to guard my peace this year. Phone calls, texts, emails, and conversations can turn a good day into a bad one. But whatever the case may be, we can’t hand over our power and faith so easily. Guard your peace and don’t give it up without a fight!

3. Trust Yourself

Many decisions were made this year and some of them were life-changing. Many of the decisions, when I trusted myself, got me past the finish line while others sent me on a detour. Weigh all of your options and trust yourself to make the very best decision. Listen to you first!

4. Ask Questions

The other day while making a tough decision and praying my way through I asked 100 questions. I even made the other person wait and while waiting may have caused her some discomfort, I couldn’t exchange her peace for my moms so, I asked ALL of my questions and in the end everyone was happy. Ask! What’s the worst that could happen?!

5. Live

I had the most fun this year! From meeting up with friends and traveling to being honest about how I feel and…all of this changed me! I also gave myself permission to cry – OMG I cried so much this year but giving myself permission to cry was one of the best things I did! I also left room for me to be me and stood firm in who I am. That was most powerful because no one could tell me who I was because….I already knew. This was a game changer! Get to know YOU! That way, no one can tell you who you are.

6. Be Vulnerable

This is a continuation of #5. I read a lot about vulnerability this year, practiced it and relationships have been made better for it. If you haven’t heard of Brené Brown get into her. She’ll help you see vulnerability in a brand new way.

7. Take A Risk

In July I bought a new journal. I’ve been writing in my journal almost everyday for the last 2 years. Starting last summer, I started every journal entry with what I was grateful for and still do. The words on the journal (in the picture) were a reminder to take a risk and that I did! I’ll write more about those risks here in 2019. In 2019, I’m encouraging you, with God’s guidance, to take a risk. You never know what’s on the other side.

All in all 2018 was a rollercoaster of a year. And I’d do it again if it meant I’d learn the lessons I learned this year.

Special thanks to everyone reading this post! It warms my heart that people are choosing to read my blog and are (hopefully) taking something away from what God has taught me. Let’s do more of this in 2019!

Happy Waiting! And Happy New Year!

The Bull In My Backyard

Every now and then I’ll have very vivid dreams. One night in particular, I dreamt there was a bull in my backyard. I remember waking, walking to the bathroom and moving the curtain aside to look out of the window. The first thing I saw was a big black bull in my backyard. It didn’t move, it just stared up at me.

Not sure what to make of it, I retreated to my room. Soon after, the bull began charging into my house. I called the police. While I’m not sure what I thought they would do, I called them anyway and shortly after the call I woke up.

The following morning, still startled by the dream (read nightmare) I searched the phrase “bull in my backyard. I was surprised to find there is a book called, A Bull in my Backyard and it’s about you (you and me) being the source of our own stress.

Several days during that week I felt like I wasn’t catching any breaks. I actually felt sad – it was a funk I couldn’t shake even though things were fine.

Reading the summary of this book made me realize that yeah, I am the bull(ly) in my own backyard. Constantly comparing or complaining, feeling like life isn’t fair when I’ve been super blessed and not being able to get out of my own way.

I hated that dream but it led me to a revelation. I have to take better care of myself. Not just my physical self but my spiritual and emotional self. I’m going to try to stop comparing (the over analysis that leads to stress) and give myself some grace. More than anything else, I’m going to move forward and get out of my own way.

Are you the bull(ly) in your own backyard? Are you being hard on yourself? You’re not alone. We all do it from time to time, many of us do it often. Just breathe and give yourself some grace, vow to treat your mind and spirit better and we can move from being the bullies in our backyards to the conquer and encourager our corners.

Happy Waiting!

A Full Upgrade

So tomorrow is my birthday and I have lots of emotions. It’s the first time in a long time that things are working well and not working very well at all.

On Saturday, someone hit my (parked) car. I didn’t realize the extent of the damage until I tried to open the passenger door. Thank God I didn’t have someone else in the car.

There are a few things that are broken or need to be replaced around the house. While I am blessed to have a house, it feels like everything is falling apart.

Now, I can totally admit I’ve been emotional lately and am in desperate need of some fun times – but I can’t help but to remember that time I was sitting in my room, in my apt,tears rolling down my face  and with anger I said to God, “FINE! If you’re going to change things, I’m going to need a FULL upgrade!”

Since then, things have been changing. My old job became a new job. My old boss became a new boss. I bought a house, started grad school, and was recently promoted. Things fell apart to fall together.

So today, while I am a bit uncomfortable, I am also hopeful because I know God can do the impossible.

I’m trusting God or a FULL upgrade. I hope you’re trusting Him too.

Happy Waiting!

Valentine’s Day Victory

It’s the end of Valentine’s Day and it was better than I imagined!

At church on Sunday, the Pastor said a sex therapist would be talking about singles and sex on Tuesday (today). I was a little skeptical and planned on eating ice cream and reading into Valentine’s night but I decided to go. I’m so glad I did.

Here are some of takeaways…

Assistant Lead Pastor Larry Paige gave us these little bits of wisdom –

First, you must know your purpose. You have to know you well. Know what you will and won’t do and exactly what you’re looking for. I spoke about this in an earlier blog post. You can find it here.

He also said to be patient. You should spend more time preparing than dating. This was in response to a question about how long is too long to wait for a proposal. This spoke volumes to me since I haven’t been in a serious/committed relationship in 4+ years. I feel like I’m overdue but hey, I want to be ready when the time comes.

He also spoke about permission. While I don’t remember everything he said regarding this, the message was to investigate. Don’t fall for potential. Oftentimes potential is just that, potential. Trust me when I say I’ve dated potential and he never changes!

If you want to learn more about Larry Paige you can find his bio and information about the here. If you’re not in the area, there’s a live stream! Watch it from your living room. It was a great way to end Valentine’s Day.

Have a good night!

Intuition FTW!

Tonight I’m listening to a sermon about doing what God has led you to do.  I’m actually listening to it now.  I was led to write about my waiting-singleness (years ago actually) and I’ve been slacking royally.   Priscilla Shirer is preaching and she is amazing! Once again, she has inspired me. So here it goes…

I’m still single. I probably sound bitter saying that but I’m ok. One thing I learned in 2016 is to listen to the God in me. My intuition always kicks in and somehow I manage to explain it away, or give it more time, or wait for something to change. All the while realizing my intuition is ALWAYS right.

You could be dating the most wonderful guy/girl in the world. He/She’s everything on your list and even some things you didn’t ask for. He/She’s also willing to wait but something isn’t right. Your intuition is knocking and no matter how long you wait or how much you try… something. isn’t. right.

Walk away.

Trust me. It’s better to be hurt now than hurt later. Someone greater is coming. Let this one go.

Happy Waiting!